The Memory Will Never Die
by Stratusfaction
Summary: Ch 4 is Up! One superstar starts reliving his past, through visions and starts to realize he can change what he hasn't wanted to acknowledge in years. But will it give him what he truly wants and needs or will it end up in his own demise?
1. Mamma Hardy

**Disclaimer:** All copyright to the WWE and it's competitors is solely owned by Vince McMahon. I only have the creative license to add them to my fictions and with that I am content. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** One superstar starts reliving his past, through visions and starts to realize he can change what he hasn't wanted to acknowledge in years. But will it give him what he truly wants and needs or will it end up in his own demise?

**Series: **Damaged Emoetry

**Characters: **Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Trish Stratus, Shannon Moore and more.

**Authors Notes:** This is a side venture for me, which is why I am using my secondary account for it. I hope to make it into a well drawn out series, so here is the first chapter and let me know what you think and if it is worth making into a full blown series as time goes on.

* * *

He sat in the room, letting the semi darkness surround him, the only light to be seen from a night light he had installed only a few short days before. He had been here before of course, numerous times. When he needed inspiration to write, when he knew the juices were there but the words just wouldn't seem to flow, he always went back here. To these books. To the books of his past, his journals. 

He had been keeping them since he was a young boy, at the tender age of 6, when he finally perfected the tool of the pencil and used it to his advantage. Sure these days his choice of tool was aluminum and some would even say hair dye, but occasionally when he felt the need, he still reached for the pencil.

He opened the first book and immediately felt himself being transported to another time, a time when he was young and happy and his mother was still alive. One where while he and his older brother got into numerous amounts of trouble, he knew he was safe and that nothing would ever enter his world that wasn't surely supposed to be there.

He closed his eyes and let the darkness then overtake him, taking him back to that day in history, the day when they had both found out that their mother had cancer and the way that it had made him feel came flooding back, almost making him want to wake up and stop feeling the way he did.

* * *

"_Boys, we need to you take a seat because your mother and I have to talk to you about something serious. Now I know you're going to want to move around Jeff, but please son, for me please sit still until your mother and I have finished what it is we have to say." his father announced in the stern voice both boys were very much accustomed too, having heard it everyday since they were able to walk and talk._

_He hadn't listened then, and he immediately jumped up from the couch in excitement. "Are we going to go to the Farmers Market?" he asked, excited because the last time his mother and father had sat them all down like this, they had gone to the once yearly event. There was nothing he liked more then going to the Market with his parents and picking out items that no one would otherwise want._

"_JEFF SIT DOWN NOW!" his father yelled, taking the young boy between both hands and looking him dead in the eye. What he had to say he knew his youngest boy would never grasp, and knowing Jeff and his incessant need to move around, Gil knew this was going to be harder to deal with if they didn't nip it in the butt now._

_He immediately sat back down on the couch and threw his older brother a look of caution, as if warning him not to make a move either or he would get their daddy yelling again._

"_Boys, we just came back from your mothers doctors appointment, and there is something that we need to discuss with you both because it affects everyone in this room."_

"_Well what is it Dad, you know we can handle it." Matt said, always being the stronger of the two brothers, the one that could keep everything levelheaded and calm. Jeff threw his brother a look, to let him know that he knew that he was kissing butt again, and then immediately looked back down at the floor. That was until his father continued._

"_Your mother and I just found out that she has cancer son, and it is further along then they thought. So what that means is that from now I am going to need your help around this house and the land. And I don't want to hear any arguments stating otherwise. Are we clear?"_

_Jeff looked from his father to his young mother, the picture of beauty and perfection standing before him. Just what was this cancer thing and why hadn't they mentioned it before? What did his daddy mean when he said it was further along then they thought it had been? Was their mother in danger?_

_So many questions stirred in his mind, so many that he just wanted to shout out and get answers too but knew that if he did that out of turn, his daddy would have his hide. After already being yelled at, he didn't want that to happen again, or worse. So he sat in mock silence, almost praying Matt would ask what he wanted too._

"_Is Mom going to be alright?" Matt asked, looking also to his mother now. _

_His father bent down to the elder Hardy, and Jeff moved in closer to try and figure out what Daddy was going to share with Matt. _

"_I'm not going to lie to you, it doesn't look good right now boys, your mother is really sick. But the best thing you can do for her, and for us as a family is stay strong, and also to help me out around the Hardy land. Can you both do that?_

_Both boys nodded and stood from the couch and hugged their Mama. If there ever was an angel on earth, the woman standing before them surely was, and they didn't understand what was happening to her, but they knew that if they didn't want to lose her, they would do what their father wanted._

* * *

Jeff stirred in the chair and came back to the present time, shaking slightly from what he had just remembered and what had taken place that fateful day. 

His mother had ended up dying, and while he was too young then to grasp the hold that the cancer had on her at that time in her life, he knew that if he was given the chance, he would go back and change that day, the day that they told him and Matt about her condition. That was the day that his whole life changed forever.

He immediately picked up his pencil and started writing, words flowing faster then his hand could carry them, and he knew that when he was done, no matter what the cost, he would bring his mother back to them where she belonged, where she had belonged this entire time.

He finished his train of thought and looked at the last line of the document he had just poured his heart into. It stuck out to him like no other word or lyric he had ever seen.

"_**They say time heals everything, but I'm still waiting."**_

* * *


	2. Trish

**Disclaimer:** All copyright to the WWE and it's competitors is solely owned by Vince McMahon. I only have the creative license to add them to my fictions and with that I am content. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** One superstar starts reliving his past, through visions and starts to realize he can change what he hasn't wanted to acknowledge in years. But will it give him what he truly wants and needs or will it end up in his own demise?

**Series: **Damaged Emoetry

**Characters: **Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Trish Stratus, Shannon Moore and more.

**Authors Notes:** The response to this latest venture for me was astounding, and I thank each and every one of you for giving it a chance. I only hope I can keep the spirit of this next chapter the same as the first. I live to hear the word "wow." The story will get deeper but for the first few chapters they will be much like the first in the sense that they will center around moments from Jeff's past, some real and some fictional, to make for a better read. So bear with that part of it and the juicier stuff will come soon enough.

* * *

He remembered her smile and the way her blond hair lit up the sky in the middle of a hot summer day. He wrapped his mind around the image of her walking with him, hand in hand as he showed her the Hardy family land. How she has seemed at peace. It was there that she had admitted her home life and how truly horrible it was for her. 

He had wanted nothing more then to rescue her then, this angel before him that as clear as day reminded him of his mother and all of the beauty she had bestowed on the world. Her words as she spoke them had cut him like a knife, and the more he listened, the more he wished he could pull out the knife and put it where it truly belonged, in the hands of the father.

He picked up the journal then, found the date of the day they had first taken that walk, the one that had shaped their lives forever, and he started to read. With each passing word he found himself envisioning the Hardy land again, as it had had been then, all serene and green and kept together by all of their strong hands.

He saw her smile, and instantly he knew that where he was now, he didn't want to come back from. He wanted to live in this memory forever.

* * *

"_You're going to make me chase you aren't you Jeffrey Nero Hardy?' she yelled as he took off across the grass, as fast as his preteen feet could carry him. He was here with his best friend, one of the new girls to Cameron. As he ran across the grass, he kept slowing down to allow her to sort of catch him but not enough to actually be side by side with him._

_She was laughing and as he ran, he bathed himself in the sound of it. She had been the only girl this side of the Mason Dixie line that had gotten him, the way he was and the way he was sure to remain. He was crazy, always daring himself to do things normal people wouldn't do, to take risks others would be afraid to do. _

_The difference about her was that she loved him for it and he knew it even though she had never come right out and told him herself. He could sense it off her, and while he had told her this on numerous occasions he would never tell another soul. They just wouldn't get that he was empathetic and unlike anyone else in the world. _

"_I've got you now Jeff Hardy" she screamed as she tackled him from behind, bringing him out of his thoughts for her and making him realize suddenly that she had indeed caught him right where she wanted him. _

_They fell to the ground in a fit of giggles and Jeff immediately tickled her to get her off of him and take the upper hand. Once he had her in stitches and fighting with all her might to get away from what he had deemed the tickle monster, he looked her in the eye. What he saw there wasn't the smile he had witnessed when she had tackled him only seconds before, but a look of absolute fear. He realized instantly she was fighting to get away from him in the worst way and he immediately backed away, afraid to even look at her again._

"_I'm so sorry Jeff, I shouldn't have done that, not with you of all people." she cried, Jeff noticing the tears that were falling as she choked out her words. He immediately went back to her and wrapped his arms around her. She was his best friend and as so, he had never seen her act like this. He wanted to know what had made her feel this afraid, and of him no less._

"_It's okay, but do you want to tell me what I did wrong?" he asked quietly, not trusting his voice to even talk at that very moment. The only other time he had felt this awkward was the day he watched his mother die, and that had been almost ten years ago._

"_I can't, you would hate me for sure if I told you."_

_He brushed his fingers through her hair, still holding onto her for dear life, almost silently pleading with her to trust him now, like she had trusted him so many times before with her most intimate thoughts._

"_Daddy, he used to do the same thing but he didn't do it in a good way Jeff. I'm sorry, I know you weren't going to hurt me that way but I was scared."_

_She immediately pulled away from and brushing her legs off picking leaves and dirt of her jeans she rose to her feet. He knew that she was planning on making a break for it now that she had admitted what was going on and he knew damn well then that he wasn't going to let her._

"_Don't run Trish please, tell me what you mean. What did your Daddy do to hurt you?"_

_She wouldn't look him in the eye and he still shook with worry that she was going to bolt from him then and he might never get the chance to find out how messed up she really was. She needed him and he knew it, he just had to make her know it too._

"_He touched me Jeff. Not in the fatherly way. Thats why I can't have anyone touch me the way you just did, it just hurts to much. It's okay if you hate me now, or you think I'm dirty, because I know thats what I am."_

_Jeff immediately pulled her head up to look him directly in the eyes. What had started out as a fun day between friends had certainly turned into something drastically serious and as uncomfortable as he was listening to what she had just admitted, he knew that there was no other place he needed to be._

"_You aren't dirty! And I could never hate you Trishie, because I love you too much to do that."_

* * *

He hadn't known then that she would move away shortly after that day on his land. He also hadn't known that she would leave him behind and never even try to contact him. But he was certain of one thing then just as he was now, almost 20 years later, he had meant every word he had said to Trish that day and he would have done anything to take away the pain on her face and the pain she had been dealing with every day since. 

She had entered his life again, like an explosion of catastrophe when he entered the WWE and became a wrestler with his brother, and they had been as close as two people could be since they had reconnected again.

He knew she still felt the pain from that day as real and true as it had been when they were 13 years old and they just wanted to be together and enjoy being kids. They never spoke of it anymore, but Jeff knew that if he could go back he would change that day in history for her, and make sure that her father never got the chance to hurt her again, not the way he had all of these years.

He closed the journal and as he did he noticed the blood drop on the desk. When he had been taking his walk down memory lane, he had gotten a bloody nose and the remnants of it marked the desk now.

Just what was happening to him? Why was we remembering all of these events from his life now, when all he wanted to do was go back and change them all?

He grabbed the pencil again and in the darkness of the room, the room he had been in straight for three days without one lick of sleep or a break other then the restroom, he knew he had to write another ending for Trish and him, one that would make them both happier then they had ever been. And he knew just what he had to do.

"_**Maybe I'll turn it all around, because its not too late, it can never really be too late."**_

* * *


	3. Daddy Hardy

**Disclaimer:** All copyright to the WWE and it's competitors is solely owned by Vince McMahon. I only have the creative license to add them to my fictions and with that I am content. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** One superstar starts reliving his past, through visions and starts to realize he can change what he hasn't wanted to acknowledge in years. But will it give him what he truly wants and needs or will it end up in his own demise?

**Series: **Damaged Emoetry

**Characters: **Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Trish Stratus, Shannon Moore and more.

**Authors Notes:** This chapter will be taking more of a first person feel only because it will be a fictional journal entry by Jeff to indicate a real event from his life but with my unique fictional spin on it. As always, read and review and let me know what you think.

* * *

_August 30, 1993_

_If you could go back and rewrite history would you take the chance or would you just let it slip by? Do you really believe that changing the course of your life, at least the bad moments would change the person you have really become?_

_I have just been through the second most frightening experience of my life this past week and all I want to do is close my eyes, wish real hard and go back to that time, the time before it all happened. _

_First Mama and now Daddy. He was taken into the hospital today and diagnosed with a brain aneurysm. He could have died had it not been for his friend from work bringing him there. What makes me so frightened is, could I really do all of this life without at least one of my parents there for it?_

_If God saw fit to take my Mama away from me, then why would he go ahead and take my Daddy too. Matt was with me when we got the news, him having come home from college and spending the summer wrestling and causing shit. _

_Daddy had been acting strange all week, throwing out stories about his dead sister and just off the cuff sort of things that had Matt and I worried. We told him to get checked out but being the strong and extremely proud man that he is and was then, he just wouldn't do what his boys told him too. _

_I was so mad at him when i found out about the diagnosis. Why didn't he just take our word for it and get checked out before we had to all wait with baited breath to see if he made it through the night? _

_Did Mama make it so he didn't die that night? Did she send that friend to be with him because she knew that she couldn't? _

_Daddy is supposed to be in the hospital for the next two weeks, more out of precaution then anything else, and I have to say that as much as I hate hospitals after watching Mama die, there is nowhere else I want to be until he is up and around and better. I fear that leaving him will mean that the one minute I am not by his side will be his last and Matt and I will be left at this young age to become adults faster then we had intended._

_I want to go back and change the past. I want to go back and make Daddy get checked out, I want to make Mama healthy again, but I just don't think I have the power to change the world that way. But you can be sure I would if I could. _

_Matt is back, our daddy is asleep now in his hospital bed, and the smell of death is choking what life i have left out of me. I want to close my eyes and change it all, to make it never happen._

_Ours, this life, Jeff Hardy_

* * *

He closed the journal and looked around the room. He heard the knock then, and told the person on the other side to come in. He looked back down at the journal, captivated by his ability to want to change the world even then, and looked up when Matt cleared his throat.

"You have been in this dank room for a week now Jeff. You haven't eaten a thing, and you haven't showered. You need to get up and get out of here right now before you go completely crazy."

"What if I said I was already crazy?" Jeff asked, his tone signaling a joke but his facial features dead serious.

"What are you doing in here anyway?"

"Reading my journals from when we were kids. Reading about when Daddy almost died."

Matt ran his fingers through his hair and took a long hard look at his brother. He knew that Jeff was different from everyone in the human race, but reliving some of the traumatic events of their lives was not something a rational person would do. Even a man like Jeff. "Jeff you need to stop doing that now. What good will it do to go back over those times?"

"I don't want to forget Matt."

Matt threw his brother a look of disdain and made his way towards the door. "Just get out of the room soon Jeff, and for God sakes, take a shower, it smells like a dead rat in here."

Jeff watched his brother leave the room and turned the main light back off. He turned back towards the journal and stared at the lettering. As the words became jumbled before him, he took himself back to that time, a week prior to the hospital stay.

* * *

"_Jeffrey Nero Hardy, you are supposed to be in school right now what are you doing here?" his father asked, his tone angry and defensive._

_Jeff put his hands on the old mans shoulders, looking him directly in the eye so that there would be no mistaking what he was about to say next. "Daddy, you aren't well, you need to get yourself checked out and for God sakes, you need to stop working long enough to do it."_

_His father looked at him, his head cocked to the side in a look of confusion, one that Jeff had seen many times because in his life it was a trademark look. He knew that his father had no idea what was going on at the moment, but he also knew he had to make the man understand before it was too late._

"_You will be diagnosed with a brain aneurysm Daddy, in about a weeks time from now. You will be talking in tongues almost, reliving things about Auntie Joyce, so please, promise me you will get checked out."_

_His father only nodded, not understanding but seeing that look on his sons face that meant that he meant business. Jeff hardly worried about anything in his life other then his family, so if he was this concerned, Gil knew he had to take it to heart._

"_Okay son, I will. Now you get back to school before the teacher calls me and gives me hell in a hand basket."_

* * *

He awoke then, falling out the chair and feeling the wetness on his face. He opened his eyes and looked around him realizing he had no idea where he was, and just how he had gotten there. That was until he saw his brother enter the room and look down on him with his older brother glare.

"Jeff, your nose is bleeding again. You better do something about that."

Jeff immediately put his fingers to his nose, feeling the warm stickiness and looking down at the red coloring on his hands. He did indeed have a bloody nose but that didn't answer the question most paramount in his mind.

"Matt, where are we, and why in the world are you dressed like a prep?"

Matt laughed and slapped his brother hard on the shoulder as he got to his feet. "Why Jeff, don't tell me you fell asleep and hit your head removing all of your memories. We're in my house, we live here together."

Jeff looked around and took in his surroundings one more time, noticing that there was no record of wrestling anywhere in the room. Just what the hell had happened when he was dreaming?

"Matt, did Daddy ever get checked out like I told him too when you started college?"

Matt smiled again and then looked his brother directly in the eyes, seriousness shining through. "Yes Jeff he did, and the doctor credited you with saving his life."


	4. Aftermath

**Disclaimer:** All copyright to the WWE and it's competitors is solely owned by Vince McMahon. I only have the creative license to add them to my fictions and with that I am content. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** One superstar starts reliving his past, through visions and starts to realize he can change what he hasn't wanted to acknowledge in years. But will it give him what he truly wants and needs or will it end up in his own demise?

**Characters: **Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Trish Stratus, Shannon Moore and more.

**Authors Notes:** Thank you for any and all reviews. I appreciate each and every one of them. I am glad you like the effect so to speak that this story is taking.

* * *

"I did what" Jeff asked, still taking in the surroundings and realizing it was like he was in a different reality. He had been on some trips when he had been taking the pain medication but this had to be the worst one yet. He hadn't even taken a pain pill in years.

"You saved our fathers life Jeff. Come on, stop acting like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you don't know what you did back then and for that matter acting like you do not know where you are now. Just what did you take?"

"I didn't take anything Matt, I just was lost there for a minute was all."

"Well get it together because Amy called and she wants you to call her back before she goes to bed."

Amy? Just what the hell was his brother talking about? And what had gotten into the way his brother was dressed? Since when did Matt choose clothes that an Abercrombie guy would wear in his ad campaign? Was he still sleeping and this was all just some sort of messed up dream?

"Amy?"

Matt sighed loudly and slapped his brother up on the side of his head. Much like he used to when they were kids and he was aggravated. At least that hadn't changed in the last half an hour since he had fallen asleep and apparently woken up here.

"Yeah, Amy Dumas, your girlfriend of the past two years. Remember her now?"

Now Jeff knew his older brother had lost his mind. He did indeed know who Amy was but the last thing he remembered about her was that she was off making music with some band and she had broken up with his brother to go out with his best friend. Just what had gotten into Matt?

"Matt, can I tell you something and have you not look at me like I have lost my mind?"

Matt nodded his head and proceeded to sit down on the bed that was off to the side of the room, with dark blue sheets. Something else Jeff didn't recognize. His sheets were black at home weren't they?

"I think I did something, I think I went back and changed what happened with Daddy back then in the hospital. I think it never happened and I am stuck here when I should be there."

He waited for his brother to reply and when nothing came, he spoke again. "Do you believe in that Matt? Do you believe that if you focus hard enough you can change the past events in your life?"

Not saying a word Matt stood from the bed and walked over to where the phone was situated on a desk. He picked it up and Jeff listened as he asked for someone to come over as soon as possible and then hung up.

"Who are you calling and why aren't you answering me?" Jeff asked, stressed out and trying with all of his might not to let it show.

"I called Amy man, because something is seriously wrong with you and I think she is the only one that might be able to make sense of it. If she can't then i think we need to take you to get your head examined."

Jeff watched as Matt made his way across the room, grabbing his jacket and heading for the door that would most likely lead him as far away from his younger brother as he could get.

"Change the past, go figure. You only wish you had that power Jeff."

As he made his way towards the door, Jeff thought of another thing he had to know. If he had changed the accident with his father all those years ago, then maybe he had changed what had happened to Trish as well.

"Matt do you remember when Trish used to live down the lane from us, just off the Hardy land?"

"What about it?"

"Do you know whatever happened to her?"

"Jeff, I seriously do not know what you took tonight to make you act like this but I might as well go along with it until Amy gets here. Trish died Jeff. She took a knife to her wrists shortly after that day on the land with you and she killed herself."

The minute Matt said the words Jeff shook his head, trying to force himself back to where he had come from. He couldn't bare to live in a world that didn't have the girl of his dreams in it. But with his answer also came the realization that if she had killed herself then the abuse had stopped long before it would have normally. But it also made him realize that him and his brother had never made it to the WWE. They weren't even wrestlers anymore.

"Matt, can you humor me one more time here? I feel like I'm missing memories of the past. Can you just tell me what it is that I did with my life?"

His brother laughed before opening the door to head out through it. It was what he said on his way out that sent shivers down Jeff's spine.

"You never did anything, not after what happened to you when we were wrestling in the ring over ten years ago. You broke your neck and in doing so killed our dreams of being in the WWE."

* * *


End file.
